


Every Possible Mistake

by fandomsandanythingelse



Series: This is Home [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Big Bang Challenge, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Moceit Single PTA Dads Enemies to Lovers AU, Oneshot, PTA dads, Parenthood, Past Character Death, Past Divorce, Past Relationship(s), Remus Swears A Lot, Single Parents, Swearing, Thomas Sanders Storytime Big Bang Challenge, Thomas Sanders Storytime Big Bang Challenge 2020, human!AU, this is home universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomsandanythingelse/pseuds/fandomsandanythingelse
Summary: There wasn't much that PTA president Patton Sanders hated. In fact, if you didn't know him well enough, you could believe that he was incapable of such a feeling. But he was. Sure, there was naturally the current political state, with a certain president trying to take people's rights away, but that kind of hatred was understandable. He very much hated arguing and yelling, believing that calm, peaceful solutions could solve problems more easily.But there was one thing, well, person really, that Patton inexplicably hated with all of his being, and that person was Janus Mentiras, his PTA vice president.Janus Mentiras, with his silver tongue, his lies, his vitiligo and heterochromia, and the fact that he was very annoyingly wherever Patton had to be. Not to mention that he too was a single father.So very single.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Moceit
Series: This is Home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884430
Comments: 5
Kudos: 100
Collections: Storytime! 2020





	Every Possible Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited to give you guys my Big Bang fic, that I'm calling the "This is Home" Universe! I hope you enjoy!  
> This will be a series of one-shots (with the exception of one or two short multi-chaptered storylines) that take place mostly chronologically.
> 
> the title for the universe is the song "This is Home" by Cavetown, and the title of this fic is from the song "New Soul" by Yael Naim.

There wasn't much that Patton Sanders hated. In fact, if you didn't know him well enough, you could believe that he was incapable of such a feeling. But he was. Sure, there was naturally the current political state, with a certain imbecile president trying to take people's rights away, but that kind of hatred was understandable. He very much hated arguing and yelling, believing that calm, peaceful solutions could solve problems more easily.

But there was one thing, well, person, that Patton inexplicably hated with his whole being, and that person was Janus Mentiras, his PTA vice president.

He couldn’t say why he disliked Janus so much, maybe it was that he didn't do the work he was delegated, maybe it was the fact that he made some sort of excuse every single time he was late to a meeting, maybe it was the way his mismatched eyes seemed to pierce through anyone he looked at. Patton couldn’t really pinpoint one thing that he hated about the man, just that he did. It seemed that Janus’s very voice just grated on Patton’s nerves, setting him on edge whenever the other man entered the room.

Like right now, as he walked into the PTA room, right as everyone had finished sitting down.

“Janus,” Patton said, gesturing at the chair to his right, “Nice of you to join us.”

“Sorry I’m late, something came up last minute."

Patton sighed, knowing that Janus was probably lying. At least he’d shown up. “Just come and sit so we can get started.”

Janus nodded, sitting in the chair that Patton had gestured to.

Patton opened his binder and smiled at the other parents in the room. “Alright, let’s get down to business!”

The rest of the meeting went well, planning for the bake sale, making sure that the school was doing the best it could for the kids, etc. Sure, maybe Patton had to stop two arguments between Karen and Susan, shut down yet another a terrible idea from Anna, (no, a bouncy castle for a bake sale would not bring in extra revenue), and try to keep himself from getting irritated every time Janus spoke, but that was all just an average PTA meeting.

Patton wrapped the meeting up with a smile, letting everyone stretch and mingle. He was just about to go over to the snack table to grab a cookie (maybe two, he was feeling a little dangerous today) when someone cleared their throat behind him. Patton turned around and gave Janus as cordial a smile as he could manage. “What’s up?”

Janus handed him a folder. “The flyers for the bake sale.”

Patton took the folder, looking through the flyers. “I mean, they look okay? I feel like there’s something off about it.”

“Really? You approved this design two weeks ago, and  _ now _ you think there’s ‘something off about it.’”

“I’m sorry. You can try something similar. Maybe a different font?”

Janus took a deep breath. “Alright fine.”

“I’m really sorry, Janus.” Patton bit his lip. They didn't have the budget to print off more fliers, and these  _ would  _ work, but he just… didn't like them. “I can pay you out of pocket for these, so you don’t have to waste the money. Email me the new design when you make it?”

Janus closed his eyes and took another deep breath. “Okay.”

Patton smiled apologetically and pulled out his phone. “Do you have Venmo?”

* * *

Virgil waited outside of the elementary school gym for his little brother’s play practice to end. Remus was playing Scar in their production of Lion King Jr., and that meant that Virgil had to walk over to the elementary school from the middle school four days a week. But he’d rather wait outside the gym than with the parents who always went in just before practice ended because why the hell would he want to be the only fourteen-year-old in a group of Karens?

Noise started building up in the gym, then kids and parents started filing out, talking about friends, homework, what they were going to have for dinner. 

Remus walked out and looked around, grinning and waving when he saw Virgil. “Hey Virge!”

Virgil smiled and gave his little brother a salute before peeling off the wall and walking over to him. “How was practice?”

“It was good! Mr. Dorman said that I’m the best Scar he’s ever seen!”

“Did he now? That’s awesome.”

Remus’s grin brightened. “I’m awesome!”

“Yup. Come on, let’s go find Dad.”

Remus nodded, then tugged on Virgil’s hoodie sleeve, pointing to something. “Virge, Virge, Virgil look!”

Virgil looked to where Remus was pointing. The PTA president, and their Dad’s self-declared worst enemy, Mr. Sanders was walking toward them, probably coming to pick up his kid Roman, who was playing Simba.

“Virgil, it’s that motherfucker!”

Virgil snorted. “We’re not supposed to call him that.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Patton got closer to them and gave them a polite smile. Virgil waved at him. Remus smiled and shouted, “Hi Mister Motherfucker!”

Patton stopped, alarmed by what he’d just heard. Virgil tried to keep himself from laughing, but it was very hard.

“Oh god, Remus, you can’t call him that. I’m so sorry, Mr. Sanders.”

“Why not? Dad calls him that all the time!”

Patton raised an eyebrow. “He does?”

“Kinda?” Virgil said.

“I guess I’ll be talking to your father," Patton said before he walked away.

Virgil was still trying not to laugh as he took Remus to go find their dad.

* * *

Janus got into his car and started it. He took a deep breath and said, “That mother  _ fucker. _ ”

Virgil snorted as he buckled his seatbelt. "You probably shouldn't say that around us anymore."

"And why not?” Janus asked. He clenched his hands into fists on the steering wheel, then let them go. “He approved the design for those goddamn fliers  _ weeks ago _ , and then just now has the  _ audacity  _ to tell me that he 'thinks something's off about them.' God, sometimes I just want to slap him in his perfect fucking face.”

"I'm just saying." Virgil turned around to see Remus in the back seat. "You wanna tell Dad what you called Mr. Sanders today, Ree?"

"Mister Motherfucker!" Remus said way too excitedly.

Janus slumped against the wheel of his car with a heavy sigh. "Great. Fantastic. Wonderful. He's going to get on my case about swearing. Again."

"Well hey, at least he didn't call him a rat bastard," Virgil pointed out.

"And for my sake, I hope he doesn't."

* * *

"I literally have no idea why I don't like the fliers, Remy," Patton said, pacing the length of his bedroom. Maybe it was bad that his son's teacher was his only real friend, but that didn't matter, especially when it meant he had someone to call and vent to about this stuff. "Janus was right, I approved the designs two weeks ago, but now that I'm looking at them in a large quantity, I just… don't like them."

"Maybe the other PTA moms are rubbing off on you and you're just being petty," Remy said, taking a loud slurp of whatever sugary coffee drink he had. It had to almost be empty if Patton could hear it through the phone. He didn't comment on it though, because he was too busy thinking about the implication of what Remy actually said.

"Oh god, do you really think that?"

"Relax, Patt, I'm only half kidding."

Patton flopped down on his bed. “Ugh, I hate this.”

“What?”

“Being in charge. Why did I agree to this?”

“You could always quit.”

“But I can’t, it’s already March.”

“So then suffer until May, I guess. That’s what I do.”

“Don’t lie, you love your job.”

“You right, you right.”

Patton giggled, then frowned again. “God, I feel bad for Janus, he paid to have those copies made in color too.”

“He did? Fricking rip, dude.”

“I paid him out of my pocket to reimburse him. And he’s right, I did approve the original design weeks ago.”

“Patton, babes, you’re a mess.”

“I knowwww, it’s bad,” Patton whined.

“Maybe it’s because you like him and you’re just hazing him and you don’t even know it.” Remy took another loud slurp of his drink. “Oh damn, I’m out of coffee.”

“I don’t like Janus.”

“Sure Jan.”

“I’m not Jan, I’m Patton!”

“Boo, that was terrible. And you’re avoiding the question, babes.”

“You didn't ask a question, you made an assumption about me, and you know what happens when you assume.”

“I make an ass out of you ‘n’ me, I know the saying. But like, you like him, so…”

“I do not!”

“I’m just saying I’ve caught you staring more than once.”

“I don’t  _ stare  _ at him.”

“You totally do, hun. Like I’ve caught you full-on checking the man out.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Listen, I’m just saying you were practically drooling when he came to Job Day in that suit.”

“I was just kind of shocked that he wore a suit as a salesman.”

“He doesn’t! He just wanted to be extra.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he literally told the class that on Job Day.”

“How do you expect me to remember what he said, that was back in September!”

Remy just sighed and Patton could hear him rolling his eyes through the phone. “Babe, just man up and admit it, you’ve got a big, sappy, gay ol’ crush on one Mr. Janus Mentiras.”

Patton felt his cheeks heat up with every word Remy said. “Did I tell you what his kid said to me today?” he asked in an attempt to change the subject.

“Remus or the older one?” Remy asked.

Patton breathed a soft sigh of relief before saying, “Remus.”

“No, what did he say?”

“He called me Mr. Mother… effer, but like, the actual word.”

Remy snorted. “Oh my god, that kid is an absolute terror.”

“And when his brother said, ‘we’re not supposed to call him that,’ you know what Remus said?”

“What did he say?”

“‘Dad calls him that all the time!’”

Remy laughed. “Oh wow. You must really leave a  _ great _ impression on the guy.”

“What kind of parent lets their kid use that kind of language? What parent uses that language in front of their kid?”

“Janus, obviously.”

“Yeah, but Remus is what, seven?”

“Nah, still six, his birthday isn’t for another week.”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that he and Roman have the same birthday,” Patton said. “Either way, the kid is six going on seven, and already swearing like a sailor because his dad is.”

“Give the guy a break, he got a divorce two years ago.”

“That’s not an excuse to call someone a mother effer in front of your kids. You don’t see me swearing in front of my kids because my wife died.”

“If I’m gonna be real honest here, Patt, you and Janus come from way different backgrounds. You’ve had that middle-class life since forever, and Janus had it rough from the day he turned eighteen.”

“I mean, yeah, but--”

“No buts. Cut the guy some slack.”

Patton opened his mouth to respond when a knock came at his bedroom door. “Hey Dad?”

“Hang on, Remy.” He put the phone down to his shoulder. “Yeah, Lo?”

Logan poked his head in. “Can you come help me with my math homework?”

“Of course, kiddo.” Patton put the phone back to his ear. “Gotta go, I’ll talk to you later.”   
“Bye hun.”

Patton hung up and stood up to go with Logan to the kitchen. Roman was sitting at the table with a coloring book and crayons. He looked up and grinned. “Daddy, can we go get ice cream today? Mr. Dorman said that I did really good on my solo in ‘hearsal.”

“Did you get your homework done?”

Roman nodded eagerly. “It was just spelling.”

“Alright. I’m gonna help Lo with his homework, then go over your spelling, then we can go get ice cream, okay?”

“Okay!”

Patton smiled, then sat down next to Logan at the table. “What’s got you confused?”

“It’s algebra and order of operations stuff. The teacher didn't go over it that much in class,” Logan said, holding the paper out to Patton. He looked at the problems. Goodness, he hadn’t had to think about this kind of thing in years. Not since he was in college, in that one math class...

Patton shook his head to clear it. “Did the teacher teach Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally?”

“No, what’s that?”

“What about PEMDAS?”

“Oh, yeah he did teach that.”

“Okay cool.” Patton looked at the page again. He’d worry about those thoughts, and about what Remy said later.


End file.
